Thursday, September 8, 2011

BP8/9/11

ROMANCE ARITHMETIC

SMART MAN + SMART WOMAN = ROMANCE
SMART MAN + DUMB WOMAN = AFFAIR
DUMB MAN + SMART WOMAN = MARRIAGE
DUMB MAN + DUMB WOMAN = PREGNANCY


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

SMART BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE = PROFIT
SMART BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE = PRODUCTION
DUMB BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE = PROMOTION
DUMB BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE = OVERTIME


SHOPPING ARITHMETIC

A man will pay $200 for a $100 item he needs.
A  woman will pay $100 for a $200 item she doesn’t need


GENERAL EQUATION STATS 

A worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

A successful man is one who make more money than his wife can spend
A successful woman is one who can find such a man


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 

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